FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Who is HIRAM J. HOPE?
Born in rural Ohio in 1964, legend has it that Hiram is a distant decendant, grand-cousin, of the great comedian, Bob Hope. In early adulthood, Hiram tried to confirm such a link, but found that the only funny people among his ancestors were rodeo clowns.
Hiram's daddy, Sinbad, was a railroad man and his mom, the former Bambi Leaper, taught school and was a dancer. Hiram had three older siblings, one of each gender.
Hiram was educated in the Ohio public schools and then matriculated to Ohio Tech where he was student manager and physical therapist for the debate team. Because of Sinbad's railroad job the Hopes moved around a bit, but they never seemed to get off track.
Tired of the nomadic life, Sinbad moved the family to Snapsville in 1985 where he purchased the Hope Cafe, now owned and managed by Hiram. Sinbad and Bambi are now retired to Arizona and are undecided whether to vote for Hiram or Senator McCain.
Two of the older siblings are in Tibet finding themselves, but brother Steve Foster Hope resides in Snapsville. He is a budding, somewhat quirky, songwriter. Hiram believes that every president is entitled to an odd, eccentric, brother.
Steve is divorced and has custody of his six-year-old son, Foster. Hiram's young nephew loves to bus tables (and pick up tips) but Hiram is afraid of getting pinched, for violating child labor laws.
In 2004, Hiram married his first and only wife, Stormy, former runner up for Miss Kentucky. Hiram is now the only presidential hopeful with a known pregnant wife. Stormy is approaching four months.
Hiram has been a member of most local civic organizations, including the Toastmasters, and he serves as a deacon at Third Pentecostal Church of Snapsville. He loves to stay out front, at the cafe, schmoozing with customers while Stormy cooks and risks dishpan hands.
Hiram is now the official 2008 presidential candidate of the Surprise Party.
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