Hiram actually seemed chipper, as he mixed pancake batter with pithy banter at 6:00 AM. in the Hope Cafe. His customer base (for breakfast) consisted of six or seven loyalists.
Josh Rugby was first to arrive, "Hi, Hiram. Who do you like in the Series?"
"I don't care, if the Braves aren't in it. They let me down---Come to think of it---I let a bunch of people down, too"
"Don't be so hard on yourself, man! Look for the silver lining."
Josh, although he had written a piece on the Obama/McCain debate at Hofstra, he would stay clear of politcal talk. The Surprise Party had unceremoniously dumped Hiram, while he was confined at the Snaps Mental Resource Center. The rejection letter was short and to the point:
Dear Mr. Hope:
In view of your boorish conduct, commencing in January, 2,008 and continuing, you will disassociate yourself with the Surprise
Party, it's platform, it's creed, it's song and it's bird, effective
ASAP.
The letter was unsigned but on official party stationery.
Reverend Ross was the next customer and he offered to exchange, with Hiram, three weeks of counseling, for ten breakfasts. This offer was politely declined.
It had turned into a routine, humdrum, morming. Stormy, his spouse, had her hands full with their year old tot, Herkimer, but she did find time to do Rainy days and Monday's banana pudding. After all, it was drizzling.
The afternoon was not humdrum. Hiram's nephew Foster, a second grader, had to 'stay in' for pulling a chair out from another student.
Hiram had to leave the Cafe and make peace with the teacher and the injured kid's parents who were threatening a lawsuit.
When he returned to the diner he noticed an obese man eating cherry pie. A closer glimpse revealed him to be the one and only, John Shumaker, the chairman of the Surprise Party.
"Hello Hiram. We have to talk."
What unmitigated nerve, thought Hiram, but he remained silent.
Shumaker apologized for abandoning Hiram. Then he swooped in with the meat.
"Hiram, the Surprise Party is only on the ballot in nine states and I'm pretty desperate. We need a candidate to stand up for us now in the nine states and to go on and represent us in the 2,012 election. We need a courageous, energetic, above reproach, person".
Hiram beamed with an egotistic smile. "Well, just who might that person be?"
"Since Ms. Palin has tested the waters with much sucess, we would be pleased to have as the 2,012 candidate of the Surprise Party, former runner up for Miss. Kentucky, Ms. Stormy Hope."
Hiram rolled his eyes and was close to tears.
John laughed and all his 325 lbs shook.
"Nope, I'm just teasing! I wouldn't take Stormy away from that banana pudding. We are stuck with you, Mr Hope, and congratulations."
All was forgiven.
_________________
10/14/2008
1/29/2008
The Hiram Hope Hiatus
It's been a long time since you've heard from us and a lot has happened. Just before August 1st, reacting to the aggregate pressures of the cafe fire, the political race, and Stormy's pregnancy, Hiram snapped. He had a severe emotional and nervous breakdown.
It was on July 28th that Hiram simply threw a screaming, hissy fit in which he verbally attacked us all. He fired Steve, his quirky brother, and his waitress, Faith. He also discharged all the volunteer campaign workers including Josh Rugby and me.
The next day he stood in the street, on the square, where he played a bass drum and tried to auction off the Hope Cafe to passersby.
He received a $147 bid which he almost accepted. After a couple of hours, Hiram was making so much noise, that Patrolman Adair took him in.
The Chief of Police, convinced that Hiram's erractic behaviour was serious and not from temporary substance abuse, transported him over to the Mental Health Resource Center at Snaps County Hospital. Patrolman Adair brought Stormy to this facility where she signed to admit Hiram.
He spent 80 days as an inpatient. Now, at his discharge, his prognosis is good but he must avoid heavy stress and stay on his medications, primarily a sensational new pill called La-la-lan.
_________________
Herkimer Hiram Hope was born August 16, weighing in at 9 lbs, 2 oz. The grandparents, Sinbad and Bambi, immediately came to help Stormy with the baby and as of late January, they are still in residence at the Hope abode. The baby is normal, cute and fine.
Steve supervised and completed the fire damage repairs and Hiram is now thinking of reopening. He wants to bring back the old crew.
Faith is now working at the Cracker Barrel and is making a good bit more, but she is on her feet a good bit more. She misses being allowed to flirt with the customers and of course she misses Hiram's political shenanigans. She is expected to return.
Hiram also wants to restart and reinvigorate the campaign but knows the powers at the Surprise Party will be less than enthusiastic. He has also inquired of Josh Rugby and me and we have both agreed to go slow.
That's a conditional 'maybe'.
It was on July 28th that Hiram simply threw a screaming, hissy fit in which he verbally attacked us all. He fired Steve, his quirky brother, and his waitress, Faith. He also discharged all the volunteer campaign workers including Josh Rugby and me.
The next day he stood in the street, on the square, where he played a bass drum and tried to auction off the Hope Cafe to passersby.
He received a $147 bid which he almost accepted. After a couple of hours, Hiram was making so much noise, that Patrolman Adair took him in.
The Chief of Police, convinced that Hiram's erractic behaviour was serious and not from temporary substance abuse, transported him over to the Mental Health Resource Center at Snaps County Hospital. Patrolman Adair brought Stormy to this facility where she signed to admit Hiram.
He spent 80 days as an inpatient. Now, at his discharge, his prognosis is good but he must avoid heavy stress and stay on his medications, primarily a sensational new pill called La-la-lan.
_________________
Herkimer Hiram Hope was born August 16, weighing in at 9 lbs, 2 oz. The grandparents, Sinbad and Bambi, immediately came to help Stormy with the baby and as of late January, they are still in residence at the Hope abode. The baby is normal, cute and fine.
Steve supervised and completed the fire damage repairs and Hiram is now thinking of reopening. He wants to bring back the old crew.
Faith is now working at the Cracker Barrel and is making a good bit more, but she is on her feet a good bit more. She misses being allowed to flirt with the customers and of course she misses Hiram's political shenanigans. She is expected to return.
Hiram also wants to restart and reinvigorate the campaign but knows the powers at the Surprise Party will be less than enthusiastic. He has also inquired of Josh Rugby and me and we have both agreed to go slow.
That's a conditional 'maybe'.
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