The topic of conversation at our 7:00 AM breakfast was Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who I'll refer to as 'Umar', for obvious reasons. This was the guy, who planned destruction to Northwest Flight 253, headed for Detroit on last Christmas Day.
Attending at breakfast were Hiram and his quirky brother, Steve. Also Faith, Josh and me, and Steve's lady-friend, Clair Voyant, who fancied herself a sorceress (she drank her coffee from a sorcer).
We were short on details; however there was a consensus that Umar accidentally set himself on fire.
Then, Clair took over. "Umar was wearing an undergarment with sewed in pockets -- to hide the chemicals. You can get this underwear on special order at Victor's Secret. Umar was impatient attemting to ignite a fuse. Despite his dasterly deed, he'll probably recover."
Steve added, "I'm not so sure that all the terrorists want to be successful. They bumble, stumble, tumble and fumble all over the place---enough to scare the daylights out of people. Richard Reid, the shoe bomber, failed also. Now, this recent incident could be a diversion to get the media's attention away from the subject of say, Health Care."
Quirky Steve had a nose for smelling out conspiracy theories.
____________________________
12/29/2009
5/29/2009
DON'T FENCE HIRAM IN
"I have opinions of my own...strong opinions...but I don't always agree with them."
George H. W. Bush
"I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to the facts."
Mark Twain
Hiram was excited. Josh Rugby had leaked, prematurely, that the Snapsville Postscript was for sale. For a song, too! Hiram literally burst into a unique rendition of High Hopes.
If the truth were known, the newspaper, like so many others, was a step away from bankruptcy. The 3,000 circulation weekly had commenced publishing a primitive 'On Line' edition, three years ago, but it was still struggling.
Hiram envisioned himself the publisher, with Josh Rugby, editor and Stormy, Hiram's spouse, doing features and a column.
As to money and financial wherewithal, he would model after the cheeseheads, yes, the Green Bay Packers. He would sell stock and bonds to and among the Snapsville community.
Never mind, that Hiram has a restaurant to run or a political party to placate.
He wants to pontificate as a publisher.
"Oops, there goes another rubber tree plant."
__________
George H. W. Bush
"I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to the facts."
Mark Twain
Hiram was excited. Josh Rugby had leaked, prematurely, that the Snapsville Postscript was for sale. For a song, too! Hiram literally burst into a unique rendition of High Hopes.
If the truth were known, the newspaper, like so many others, was a step away from bankruptcy. The 3,000 circulation weekly had commenced publishing a primitive 'On Line' edition, three years ago, but it was still struggling.
Hiram envisioned himself the publisher, with Josh Rugby, editor and Stormy, Hiram's spouse, doing features and a column.
As to money and financial wherewithal, he would model after the cheeseheads, yes, the Green Bay Packers. He would sell stock and bonds to and among the Snapsville community.
Never mind, that Hiram has a restaurant to run or a political party to placate.
He wants to pontificate as a publisher.
"Oops, there goes another rubber tree plant."
__________
4/25/2009
Curtain call
In order that you keep up with our myriad of characters, we will reintroduce the main players with a curtain call:
HIRAM---the protagonist, owner of the Hope Cafe. Candidate for US President and Herkimer's daddy
STORMY---his spouse, former runner up for Miss Kentucky; famous for her 'Rainy days and Mondays' banana pudding. Mother of Herkimer.
STEVE---Most US presidents have one---Hiram's quirky brother. He is divorced and has custody of his (now 8) year old son.
FAITH---Loyal waitress and campaign treasuer
JOSH RUGBY---Hiram's good friend and sports editor of the Snapsville Postscript
REVEREND ROSS ---Hiram's pastor at 3rd Pentecostal Church
BAMBI---Hiram's mother
SINBAD---Hiram's daddy
FOSTER---Hiram's nephew, aged 8. Son of quirky Steve.
JOHN SHUMAKER---Chairman and operations manager of the Surprise Party.
FERN and DEANA: Ladies, who are sisters and do odd jobs around the diner.
_________________________________
During the spring, not much has happened on the local level. Nationally, the big banks and auto-makers continue to predict bankruptcy, and I guess Pontiac as a brand name is gone.
We (Hiram, Josh and I) did attend a bedbug conference at the Sheraton in Arlington, VA. It seems that anytime, anyone mentions a recession or a depression there is an increase in bedbug infestations.
The nasty criitters attack an hour before dawn and they feed on human blood (vampire style). Since the EPA banned DDT and other potent pesticides, the insects have thrived. When the bugs are squished they emit a putrid odor. Cockroaches are their avowed enemies.
Hiram wants to get a speaking engagement at the next bedbug summit.
More, soon.
________________________________
HIRAM---the protagonist, owner of the Hope Cafe. Candidate for US President and Herkimer's daddy
STORMY---his spouse, former runner up for Miss Kentucky; famous for her 'Rainy days and Mondays' banana pudding. Mother of Herkimer.
STEVE---Most US presidents have one---Hiram's quirky brother. He is divorced and has custody of his (now 8) year old son.
FAITH---Loyal waitress and campaign treasuer
JOSH RUGBY---Hiram's good friend and sports editor of the Snapsville Postscript
REVEREND ROSS ---Hiram's pastor at 3rd Pentecostal Church
BAMBI---Hiram's mother
SINBAD---Hiram's daddy
FOSTER---Hiram's nephew, aged 8. Son of quirky Steve.
JOHN SHUMAKER---Chairman and operations manager of the Surprise Party.
FERN and DEANA: Ladies, who are sisters and do odd jobs around the diner.
_________________________________
During the spring, not much has happened on the local level. Nationally, the big banks and auto-makers continue to predict bankruptcy, and I guess Pontiac as a brand name is gone.
We (Hiram, Josh and I) did attend a bedbug conference at the Sheraton in Arlington, VA. It seems that anytime, anyone mentions a recession or a depression there is an increase in bedbug infestations.
The nasty criitters attack an hour before dawn and they feed on human blood (vampire style). Since the EPA banned DDT and other potent pesticides, the insects have thrived. When the bugs are squished they emit a putrid odor. Cockroaches are their avowed enemies.
Hiram wants to get a speaking engagement at the next bedbug summit.
More, soon.
________________________________
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