On the Sunday prior to Easter, Hiram insisted to Stormy that they were overdue for a blessing and insisted that they attend services. The campaign has been going well and Stormy's pregnancy has, thus far, been uncomplicated.
There will be adjustments ahead including choosing someone to run Hope's kitchen during the coming months. As a potential solution, Hiram has convinced Steve, his quirky brother, to take over in the galley and to prepare himself by enrolling in a culinary class at Snaps Community College. Steve has registered. It is anybody's guess whether he will complete the 8 week course.
Reverend Ross chose as his sermon topic the 'love of money' being the 'root of all evil'. Hiram, at first, misunderstood the preacher's accent and thought he was railing against, 'filthy liquor' rather than 'filthy lucre'. Hiram's waitress, Faith, would certainly agree with the 'filthy' part as she always wipes down the Hope Cafe's currency with a sponge saturated with turpentine. It kills bacteria but Hiram's deposits always have an aroma.
The preacher's conclusion: It's okay to have a platonic relationship with money, just don't adore the stuff. By the way, the Surprise Party puts little emphasis on money. Party chairman, John Shumaker, is coming in for a Wednesday rally and will be going over a variety of Surprise strategies including how to run a campaign SANS the dollars.
Reverend Ross' choice of sermon topic was both timely and coincidental. The national media have been in a frenzy awaiting 1st quarter financial reports from the major presidential candidates. How many millions have they each collected?
The media presumes that the amount collected relates to and predicts the number of votes to be cast. Yet, even the word 'collected' is suspect. These politicians actually report pledges, not actual collections. Thus, a portion of the money promised never, ever, arrives and the figures being reported are skewed.
Hillary has been the first to report, and as she includes some old money (which spends quite well), she is sitting on a cool 35 million. Edwards is expected to come in at about 16 million and Obama is somewhere between the two, but nearer Hillary.
Senator McCain is falling a bit short. Candidates who don't realize their goals, or who are expecting 'filthy lucre' that never comes, may soon be reaching for 'filthy liquor'.
After soaking up the TV news, as she worked Monday, Faith became concerned that Hiram had neglected to file a financial report. Not knowing how to contact the Federal Election Commission, she opted to call CNN:
FAITH: Is this Cable News? May I speak with either Anderson or Wolf?
CNN: Mr. Cooper and Mr. Blitzer are at the Big Dance finals. Is there a message?
FAITH: Oooh! I didn't realize they were dance partners. Who leads? -- Never mind. -- I just need to speak to someone who handles breaking news.
CNN: Hang on for our intern, FiFi.
FAITH: Hi, FiFi. I'm Faith, the finance chairman for Hiram Hope.
FIFI: Hopa. You are Hopa?
FAITH: Mr. Hopa -- er that's Hope is running for president. I want to give you his financial report for the 1st quarter. Just listen, please, and write this down. I put an empty dill pickle jar next to our cash register. It is labelled: Hiram's Pretty Petty Cash. So far, our customers have dropped in $377.00. I just want to get that report in so that we are legal.
FIFI: Miss Hopa coulda you calla back?---I, don'a know dilla pickle.---I speaka no English.
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