Presidential Power

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power

-- Abraham Lincoln


We thought, because we had power, we had wisdom

-- Stephen Vincent Benet

The oval office acts as a powerful magnet. The closer one gets to it, the greater the attraction

-- Hiram J. Hope

Hiram came to the roundtable this morning, somewhat perturbed. He is concerned that virtually all the lurkers and wannabe potential candidates are now sidling up to the dance floor. The wallflowers are actually walking out onto the floor and are cutting in on the prettiest girls. These procrastinators are now desperately acting like salmon on their upstream trek.

Fred Thompson is scoring high in the polls even though his blast-off announcement is not expected until July 4th. He is definitely dancing.

Michael Bloomberg is pirouetting and he is bringing his own hall, dance band and girls (the Rockettes, no doubt). He is also bringing his treasure.

Newt is trying to dance while still sitting on a fence. He does a mean mug-wump, bunny hop.

Al Gore is swaying near the band stand, causing the breezes to shift, as he anticipates certain awards. The noble Nobel Peace Prize may be his.

Meanwhile, here in Snapsville, Foster's teacher is still bad-mouthing Hiram's candidacy, "It will certainly be a 'fluke' should Mr. Hope win."

Hiram thought about printing some Tee shirts captioned:

Don't be a kook,
Vote for the Fluke.

Then Steve reminded Hiram that in addition to being a 'stroke of luck', a 'fluke' is also a vile, nasty, sucking, parasitic, worm-fish.

Hiram decided to order Tee shirts on another day.

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Diplomacy 101 -- Dining with the Enemy

To the amazement of one and all, Steve, Hiram's quirky brother, graduated from culinary school and with honors. He even received job offers from both the Cracker Barrel, over on the Interstate, and from the local IGA deli. All this attention prompted Steve to quiz Hiram regarding his new job and to inquire about fringe benefits offered at the Hope Cafe.

"Other than free meals, there are none," cautioned Hiram. "Just work hard and don't gormandize."

Meanwhile, early this morning, Stormy went to see Dr. Patel for a check-up and a sonogram. Little Hiram is expected to be a hefty baby and his ETA--+about August 15th. Stormy was urged to stay off her feet and to diet a bit.

Hiram closely monitored the recent New Hampshire Democratic and Republican debates. He stood in front of his full length mirror and practiced rebutting each of the candidates while choosing appropriate, effective, body language.

Hiram is hoping that the FCC will invoke the "fairness doctrine" that will force the networks and TV stations to offer the minor political parties and low budget candidates equal exposure. Hiram dreams of debating Mitt or Rudy and/or Hillary or Obama.

Faith mentioned that Democrat John Edwards is sending each of his contributors a copy of his mom's recipe for pecan pie. Hiram wondered whether he should similarly send out Stormy's recipe for Rainy Days and Mondays Banana Pudding.

That would be publishing a trade secret much like if Coke should reveal their formula in USA Today. Yet, if some of the world's most hostile, evil, leaders are exposed to truly delicious cuisine, they may just sweeten up. For instance, the leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-il, has spent his life smelling, tasting and consuming kimchi---a known food WMD.

Rainy Days puddiing as well as Ms. Edward's pie might turn Kim around. Hiram (the impulsive decider) will have to meditate on this one.

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